My Brain Is Killing Me!

Why can’t I control my brain? Seems so unfair that I am completely at its mercy, especially since I’m not sure it has my best interest at heart. Today, for instance, I have a song stuck in my head. In fact, for the last week or so, I’ve woken up every morning to some dreadful […]

A Surviver’s Guide To Being Scared Shitless

There are a couple of things I used to boast about when I was a kid. One, spoken with great pride, was to tell every person I knew: the postman, the baker, my teacher, my best friend’s father, anyone really, that my Dad was bankrupt. And not for the first time. In fact, he had […]

The IRS Wants Me To Do What?

Whenever I got caught being bad as a kid (which, boastfully, was far less than deeds committed) my father in his deep, sonorous voice would command me to “Present myself for punishment.” I don’t blame him for making this absurd request. After all, he’s from that weird generation steeped in corporal punishment, boarding school sadism […]